Dinkoes Ate My Baby
by ordinaryguy2
Summary: Oz gets roped into chaperoning for some middle school kids on Halloween so is in need of a costume. Luckily he finds a good costume in Ethan Rayne's costume shop. Ethan also managed to get a lot more costumes out there for that special night. X-overs include Lost In Space, Star Wars, Predator, Gremlins, I Dream Of Jeanie, Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein, Mummy, the Blob, and zombies
1. Chapter 1

**Dinkoes Ate My Baby**

by Carycomic

**Synopsis:** _Let's just say this is what happens when you get bitten by rabid thought-bunnies._

**Disclaimer**: _if you recognize it, I don't own or profit from it._

**Chapter 1.**

**A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...**

Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, had finally gotten his TIE fighter under control. By that time, however, he was far outside the Yavin system. The shockwave produced by the explosion of the Death Star had inadvertently boosted his craft's speed to almost that of light!

And, now, his life-support system was on half-power.

"There is no choice," he thought to himself: "I must go into a healing trance, until someone traces the signal from my beckon call. May the Force permit it to be someone from the Empire."

Whereupon, he lowered the life-support power to its barest minimum before slipping into suspended animation.

**SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA**

**OCTOBER 30, 1997**

Daniel Osbourne was walking out to his van when he collided with a red-and-gold wall.

"Hey, Shorty! Watch where you're...Oh! Hey, Oz."

"Hey, Larry. My bad! I was trying to keep my costume from dragging on the ground.

"Costume?" echoed the Sunnydale High football player: "You mean _you_ are going trick-or-treating?"

"Yes and no. I got shanghaied by Principal Snyder to act as chaperone for some of the middle school kids. Some sort of child-safety thing the Mayor foisted on him. And, you know what a brown-noser Snyder can be!"

"For sure!" replied Larry, with an emphatic chuckle: "So, who're you gonna goes as?"

"Well, a couple weeks back, SciFi Channel showed this thirtieth anniversary marathon of LOST IN SPACE re-runs. Built around the fictional launch date of the Jupiter 2, in the series premiere?"

"Don't tell me...!" began Larry.

Oz grinned and nodded: "I'm going as Will Robinson."

Larry shook his head in half-serious pity, before asking if he could get a look at the costume. And, Oz amiably obliged.

"Orange?!" exclaimed the former, a moment later.

"It's the color of the outfit Bill Mumy wore all through Season 2," Oz explained: "And, it was either this or his Season 3 color. Lilac!"

"Well, if you have to choose between two evils, I suppose orange is the less gay one. Where'd you get it, anyway?"

Oz pointed down the street, behind him: "It just opened up! Run by some Englishman named Snow. Or, was it Rain? Ah, well! Got to get home, and try it on for size. See you, Lar."

"You, too, Oz."

Ethan Rayne looked up at the ringing of the little bell caused by the opening of his front door.

"Yes, sir! How may I help you?"

"Well, you see," began Larry: "It's like this. I volunteered to be part of the Mayor's Halloween chaperone program, for under-privileged kids, this year? And, I need a costume that will be instantly recognizable to everybody. Preferably, someone...bad-ass...if you know what I mean."

"Yes, sir. I think I do. And, over against the far left back wall is a costume that I think would be _ideal_ for a strapping young man like yourself! If you'll follow me, please?"

Larry did as instructed. Thirty seconds later, Ethan Rayne was gesturing, with his right arm, like a model on THE PRICE IS RIGHT.

"Is this what you had in mind, sir?"

Larry became so ecstatic, his face practically went anime' .

"Oh, wow, man! Yeah! That's _perfect_!"

"In that case, if you're not pressed for time, you can try it on for size in one of the fitting rooms. Right through here."

The Englishman's left arm pointed to a doorway with a simple green curtain. And, Larry ran through it like he was making a hundred yard-return on the football field! Ten minutes later, he was examining himself in a three-way mirror.

"Awesome!" he exclaimed (_in a voice somewhat muffled by the elaborate mask_): "And, may the Force be with any brats too stupid to fork over their Halloween candy!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL**

**OCTOBER 31, 1997**

**(12:05 P.M./PST)**

"So are you going trick-or-treating, too, Harm?" asked Gwen Ditchik of the Cordettes.

"Only for a little while," replied Harmony Kendall, as the two of them sat down at their regular cafeteria table: "Larry's trying to score points with Principal Snyder by volunteering for this child-safety thing at the last minute. So, if I grant _his_ wish by accompanying him, tonight, maybe he'll grant _my_ wish, later on. And, ask me to be his date to the Homecoming Dance!"

"Oooooh!" squealed Gwen with gleeful realization: "So, that's why you bought the IDOJ costume?"

"Duh!"

And, both of them giggled so hard they could not even sip from their bottles of imported spring water.

"Hey, Tuck!" exclaimed Andrew Wells: "Me, Jonathan, and Warren are going to the Sun Cinema, tonight, for their seven-to-midnight monster fest. And, it's gonna be their best, ever! You even get in, half-price, if you dress like any of the characters in the movies! This year, they're showing THE MONSTER SQUAD; THE BLOB '88; NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD '90; ARMY OF DARKNESS; and THE WISHMASTER! You wanna come?"

Tucker Wells looked up at his younger brother and shrugged.

"I might as well. I asked Amy Madison to the Halloween party at the Bronze. And, she shot me down!"

"Whoa! Bummer! Well, who knows? Maybe you'll meet a better-looking girl, there."

**ETHAN'S COSTUME SHOP**

**(5 HOURS LATER)**

The store had already been closed for the night. The last of his costumes having been sold (at a massive discount) just before the evening rush hour. Now, it was time to activate the spell he had placed on each of them!

Ethan Rayne knelt before the bust of Janus, and began chanting in a language that sounded vaguely like Latin. But, which-in reality-was frighteningly older.

Oz looked at himself in the mirror. The orange shirt fit, all right. But, the matching pants were a little tight in the crotch. And, the black boots were one size too big! The latter point, however, was quickly remedied with some crumpled-up scraps of newspaper lining the soles. All he had to do, now, was belt on the prop ray-gun and...

With a reverberating "pop," he was no longer alone in his bedroom.

"W-W-W-W" stammered the lovely, mini-skirted redhead before him: "Where are we, Will Robinson?"

"I don't know, Fenestra. Honest! Although, from the model globe on that desk, I'd have to guess...we were back on my homeworld of Earth!"

Harmony looked at herself in the mirror. It had been somewhat difficult putting her hair into a pony-tail, and then threading it through that weird pink fez. Still, it had been worth it.

"I'm better looking than Barbara Eden was! Then, again; she was never allowed to show off her navel on TV. But, if I lower this part of the waist band, here..."

**CAPE KENNEDY, FLORIDA**

**(THIRTY YEARS EARLIER) **

Jeannie looked at the "hash-mark" calendar she had been maintaining with the (relatively) giant tube of lipstick she had blinked up, three weeks earlier. And, she sighed.

"Three more days, and it will be one full month. Then, all is lost for myself and Major..."

"Boink!"

Suddenly, she found herself in a bedroom totally unlike the one her master slept in, back home, in Cocoa Beach. Naturally, she was at a loss of words as to how she had gotten here! But, one thing she could not dispute.

"Haji be praised! I am _free_ again!"

She laughed with joy as did a balletic series of pirouettes worthy of a female Olympic figure skater. Then, she heard a familiar noise.

"A door bell! Maybe the person visiting this house can tell me where I am. So I can know in which direction I must blink myself home!"

With another loud "boink," she was downstairs and opening the front door. Only to scream in terror at the sight that met her eyes! A tall, menacing figure wearing a black cape, over matching armor, and breathing (_rather asthmatically_) through some sort of mask.

Before she could blink herself away to safety, however, a strange numbness of both mind and body took hold of her.

"The Force is very strong with you, little one," Darth Vader declared: "So, you shall help me find out what world I am on. And, more importantly, how I can return to Coruscant!"

To which Jeannie replied: "Yes, Master."

**tbc **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

**THE WELLS RESIDENCE,**

**SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA**

**OCT. 31, 1997 (5:30 P.M./PST)**

"Aoooooooooooooooooooooooow!" howled the werewolf as the buttons on his white shirt popped off with the expansion of his chest.

"Calm yourself, my lycanthropic lackey!" exclaimed Count Dracula: "The night is young. And, so are half of those whom I will Embrace before sunrise. But, first, we must find the rest of our cadre. Bleh! Bleh!"

The strange duo then left the unfamiliar bedroom. Descending a nearby staircase to a spacious living room adjoining the picturesque foyer. Yet, just as the Lord of Vampires was about to put his hand on the knob to open it, there came two loud knocks from the exterior of the door. The second one of which toppled it to the floor of the foyer!

Standing on the small front porch were an embarrassed Frankenstein Monster and a mute, reanimated mummy.

"Ah! Good evening, gentlemen! You are right on time. Let us, then, sally forth to expand our ranks. Bleh! Bleh!"

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL,**

**FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER**

As clearly as Fenestra could recall, she and Will Robinson had just been about to conduct another experiment in psionic materialization (_at Dr. Marvello's request_), when she had suddenly found herself in what Will had called "a teenager's bedroom."

After finding proof that they were on the West Coast of the United States (_after sifting through something called a "newspaper"_), and that it was the night of a strange holiday called "_Halloween_," Will had suggested that they head for the local center of public transportation.

"We can find what out buses are heading south to Pasadena, and head for the Jet Propulsion Laboratory once we get there. That way, we can use their computers to contact NASA!"

"This is your world, Will Robinson. I will bow to your expertise."

So, after consulting a massive tome called "_The Yellow Pages_," they headed out the door. Only to become the quarries of the strangest looking predatory creatures she had ever seen, almost immediately!

Fortunately, Will's laser pistol seemed to be effective against them. So, he yelled to her to run ahead of him, while he fought a rear guard action. What seemed like an eternity later, they reached something called a "_high school_." Only to be stopped by the most frightening sight, yet!

An armored figure in black fighting to protect himself and a scantily-clad blonde woman...with some kind of glowing red stick.

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL**

**OCT. 30, 1997 (3:00 P.M./PST)**

"Yo, Scott! Wait up."

Scott Hope looked over his shoulder, and saw Percy West of the basketball team running to catch up with him. So, he did as requested and waited, so they could descend the school's front steps, together.

"Hi, Perce! Where's the fire?"

"No fire, man! I was just wondering if you had finally chosen a date for the Grave Rave at the Bronze, tomorrow night?"

"Well, let's just say I've narrowed it down to two. Either Cordelia Chase...or that foxy blonde tomboy who transferred in, last spring."

"If I were you, man, I'd opt for Cordie. Rumor has it she sent away for a designer costume through this big party-planner outfit in Hollywood. A cat-woman costume! With a real fine-lookin' tail, if you catch my drift."

Scott's resulting grin could only be described as "lascivious."

"Then, I guess this is one gremlin who's going to get himself a piece of pussycat!"

** TWENTY-SEVEN HOURS LATER**

The gremlin had jumped out of the second-floor bathroom window after turning off the lights and taking a shower.

A shower that had created over a dozen clones of itself! But, not entirely identical ones. Though they possessed the same reptilian appearance, bat-like ears, and anthropoid physique (with bipedal gait), as their parthenogenic parent, they completely lacked the strange, Mohawk-like fringe of white hair.

Even so, they now followed him with all the single-minded loyalty of a wolf pack.

Consequently, in the course of wandering through all the nearby neighborhoods, vandalizing all the outdoor Halloween decorations they came across, the quasi-reptilian creatures encountered a young man and woman walking all by themselves. And, the lovely long legs of the short-skirted woman stirred something in the alpha gremlin's subconscious!

Unfortunately, for his parthenogenic progeny, the young man was armed with a laser pistol. To which their inherent photo-sensitivity was like kryptonite to Superman!

Now, it was revenge (_rather than lust_) that drove the alpha gremin and his surviving subordinates to continue the pursuit.

**KENDALL RESIDENCE,**

**(5:55 P.M./PST)**

The first thing Darth Vader did, after exerting his will through the Darkside of the Force, was have Jeannie give him a brief summary of her exact abilities. When that had been accomplished, he demanded where he might locally go for the knowledge he sought.

"If it's knowledge you seek, Master," replied the mind-controlled genie: "...we should go to the library of the local high school. For some strange reason, I sense a _great_ amount of mystical knowledge being stored there!"

"Very well! Teleport us there, at once."

Faster than he could have said "boink," he and Jeannie were on the front veranda of Sunnydale High's main entrance.

"I commanded you to take us to the library! We are outdoors!"

"I'm sorry, Master. The same mystical energy that I sensed coming from here has caused me to misjudge distance. Shall I try again?"

"No. I shall use more mundane means of ingress. Now, where is my lightsaber?"

The Sith-lord began feeling around the equipment belt on his waist. Only to stop when he heard another "boink."

"Is this what you wished to find, Master?"

He held up the hilt, and ignited the red, blade-like beam of light.

"Yes. That is much more like it."

He then proceeded to the locked front doors. The blonde-haired genie tagging along just behind him. Before he could cut through the wood-glass-and brass frames, however, the duo suddenly found themselves surrounded by a semi-circle of massive beings!

Beings with skull-like masks; blue-scaled arms; and long, braided hair.

** tbc**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4.**

Frederick Nicholas had been the projectionist at the Sun Cinema for nearly fifty years. And, in all that time, he had never once thought to buy something more up-to-date than the gold-plated pocket watch he had been using for forty of them.

When asked why not, he always gave the same reply:

"Why bother? This has always kept better track of time, for me, than any of those new-fangled electronic toys that people sport around on their wrists!"

Right now, it was showing him that there was still twenty minutes to go, before the night shift manager opened the doors to the public. A public who were already stretched half-way around the block for this year's "Mon-stival!"

Which is why he was surprised when the manager entered the projection booth...accompanied by four costumed strangers.

"Mr. Zackeroff? Are we opening ahead of schedule, this year?"

"No..., Fred," replied the latter (_in a strange, halting manner of speech_): "It's simply...that these...gentlemen...have...a special...pass."

Fred frowned: "I didn't hear anything at the staff meeting about special passes."

Whereupon, the one dressed like Dracula turned to his left.

"Show him, Wolfie. Bleh! Bleh!"

This was followed by the one dressed as the Wolfman howling at the ceiling-at a volume too loud for any human throat to simulate-and then springing at Fred!

"ROWR-ROWRRRRR!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Seconds later, Dracula ordered the mesmerized manager to produce the canisters of film he had already requested. And, Samuel Zackeroff willingly (_if somewhat clumsily_) obliged. Producing a pair of them; one bearing the label "The Blob (1988)." Another labeled "Night of the Living Dead (1990)."

Dracula put the latter on top of the former, before placing both in the center of the room. He then turned to the Mummy and asked:

"Kharis! Do you have the Necronomicon?"

The Mummy nodded and held up the indicated spell book.

"Then, give it to me, and we shall begin. Bleh! Bleh!"

A moment later, Dracula was chanting something in a little-known Middle Eastern dialect called "Kandarian." A chant that stopped...only when both film canisters became enveloped in a viscous pink goo. Sort of like molten bubble gum!

"By the power of the Ancient Old Ones," said Dracula (_resuming English_): "...you are mine to command. And, I command you to make living dead out of those outside this theater! But, first? Do the same to these two."

He gestured to Zackeroff, and the late Fred Nicholas.

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL,**

**TEN MINUTES EARLIER**

Darth Vader looked at the beings surrounding them. They were similar, in build, to the Feeorin humanoids of his native galaxy. Except Feeorin cranial tendrils were much thicker than the ones that passed for hair on these creatures.

"M-M-Master?" stuttered the mind-controlled Jeannie: "W-What should we do?"

"Teleport to the roof of this structure," he commanded: "And, stay there until I call you back."

"Yes, Master."

Whereupon, she folded her arms across her breast, and blinked. An act that seemed to startle the six humanoids before him! Yet, as much as he wanted to revel in that small pleasure, the Sith-lord decided against it. Reuniting with the Emperor must take first priority. So, instead, he addressed the aliens.

"I have no business with you, tonight. Leave now, while you can. Or, endure this..."

He illustrated his meaning by using his lightsaber to vertically slash the left and right sides of the front door before him, followed by a horizontal slash to its top. A second later, with just the mildest application of the Force, it toppled to the ground. Vader then looked at the aliens, who were looking at each other.

The next moment, some sort of miniature blaster rose up from behind each one's right shoulder.

From the roof top overlooking the scene, Jeannie watched as a series of small red blurs converged on a larger red blur. Only to be repelled with unfailing accuracy. What was more; the fusillade stopped only when two of the smaller red blurs wound up going through the skulls of two of the alien humanoids!

Immediately following this, the four survivors changed tactics. One of them fired a metallic net at Vader, who telekinetically intercepted it...and re-routed it. Ensnaring a second humanoid who was charging him from behind. As a result, the net pinned this humanoid to the ground, where it began to constrict him with the power of a thousand Burmese pythons!

Very skinny, and razor-sharp, pythons.

While that was happening, a third humanoid tried to impale the Sith-lord through the chest with some sort of telescoping javelin! But, Vader deftly spun about, and cut it in half. He then used the momentum of that spin to slash backwards. Disemboweling the javelin's wielder! He did not let the humanoid suffer, however.

The latter was mercifully decapitated, instead.

By the time Vader returned his attention to what should have been only two survivors, he found out there were actually three. The netted alien having used retractable metal claws (one set per gauntlet) to slice through the net and set himself free. It was at this point, though, that help arrived from an unexpected quarter.

Fenestra and Will Robinson came running up the terraced slope, to the high school. Still being pursued by a pack of vengeful gremlins.

"G-Giles!" a stammering Willow Rosenberg excitedly exclaimed: "That redhead in the Old School Trekkie outfit. Isn't that...?"

"Not now, Willow!" snapped the Watcher: "We have to get to Ethan's Costume Shop and break this spell."

**tbc**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

When the gremlins had first started chasing Will and Fenestra, there had been eighteen of the former. Plus, their leader/progenitor. But, Will's laser pistol had managed to eradicate at least one-third of that number. Their speed and agility making it somewhat difficult to always get a bull's eye.

Even more unfortunately, their ape-like galloping on all fours proved advantageous, to them, when it came to pursuing Will and Fenestra up the terraced slope of the high school's front lawn!

Jeannie, crouching where she was on the school roof-top, saw all this...and more. She saw the apparent leader of the surviving alien humanoids turn around at the sound of the laser pistol. She saw him spot the weapon, and go for one of his own. Something akin to an ancient Greek discus. Then, she saw him throw at the young man and woman!

Jeannie quickly crossed her arms and blinked.

"Boink!"

Will and Fenestra materialized behind her. Instinctively falling to their hands and knees to her right and left, respectively. As a result, the extra-terrestrial discus flew past the spot where its intended targets no longer were...and cleaved a high-leaping gremlin, in half, instead.

**SUN CINEMA, SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA**

**(6:30 P.M./PST)**

The front doors to the theater finally opened up. As did the window shades of the box office. And, all the teenage youngsters who walked up, to pay their admission (_while wearing costumes not bought at Ethan Rayne's_), were each greeted the same way by the usher dressed as Dracula.

"Good evening! I bid you 'welcome.'"

Those interested in buying snacks, before securing their seats, were sold popcorn and other stuff by the Mummy and Frankenstein's Monster. Finally, however, the house was packed. Whereupon, Dracula sent a telepathic message to the werewolf in the projection booth.

"Now, Wolfie."

The werewolf howled over the public address system.

"AOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

The delighted teenagers howled back in collective response. Not realizing- -until too late- -that it was actually a signal for the Blob to go to work. And, when they did, the ensuing screams of terror were like music to Dracula's ears.

"Sing, my Children of the Night, sing! Bleh! Bleh!"

Ten minutes later, a small army of zombies- -coated in what looked like pink mucous- -began shambling back out of the theater. All of them headed. . .for Sunnydale High.

At seeing what had happened to their fellow gremlin, the rest skidded to a stop. Whereupon, the alpha gremlin immediately signaled for the whole pack to retreat. Upon seeing this, the three alien humanoids turned back to Darth Vader. Only for the latter to take advantage of their momentary distraction by seizing their respiratory systems in the vise-like grip of the Force!

When the trio had dropped to the ground, unconscious, the Sith-lord called up to Jeannie to blink back down to him.

"And, bring the two you rescued with you," he added.

"Yes, Master."

One "boink" later, all three were standing in front of Vader.

"I take it, from your garb, that you two are space travelers, as well."

Will Robinson and Fenestra nodded, the former identifying both of them. Although, more of out of common courtesy than anything else.

"Do either of you know where we are? Or, how we got here?"

Fenestra spoke up before Will could.

"We cannot answer your first question. But, I can telepathically perceive that the humanoids behind you are called the Yautja. And, that they were drawn here by some kind of electromagnetic anomaly their vessel's instruments detected. Involving something called _'excited mesons_' and _'strange quarks_.' Whatever those may be."

Darth Vader looked over his shoulder at the school.

"Yes. Now, it makes sense. This building houses a naturally occurring nexus of the Dark Side!"

**tbc  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6.  
**  
**Quick reminders:** _in the SWEU, the dinko is a multi-legged reptile noted for its bad smell and vicious temperament. Ergo; since Oz and Darth Vader are two of the main protagonists in this story, the title is a partial pun referring to Oz's rock band. Likewise, the Dracula in this story is not the one from the Season 4 premiere of BTVS. He's more of a cross between the version played by Duncan Regehr (in MONSTER SQUAD) and the one played by George Hamilton (in LOVE AT FIRST BITE)._

* * * * *

**SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA  
OCTOBER 31, 1997  
(6:45 P.M./PST)  
**  
Mohawk, the alpha gremlin, fled down the terraced slope of Sunnydale High School's front lawn as fast he could. Galloping on all fours, he crossed the street to the neighboring city park. And, once there, he headed straight for the duck pond. For only by totally immersing himself, in its waters, could he hope to replicate himself in sufficient numbers to defeat the giant masked aliens that had decimated his prior batch of subordinates!

But, the moment he tried to dive in, he was intercepted. Or, rather, he was intercepted at the peak of his diving arc by a pair of webbed hands.

"RAWWWWWWWWWWWR" bellowed the Gill Man from the Black Lagoon, shooting up out of the water to his full height.

Less than three hours ago, he had been Percy West; one of the star players on the Razorback basketball team. That is; till he had put on the only costume he could find, at Ethan Rayne's shop, that roughly complemented the one purchased by his girlfriend, Aphrodesia. Namely; that of Ariel the Little Mermaid!

Of course, once she had donned the costume, she had _become_ Ariel, both physically and mentally. As a result, she had not only failed to recognize the Gill Man as Percy. She had fled from him in terror! Belly-flopping her way to the duck pond in the park, and hiding as best she could within its minimal depths. The Gill Man had not given up easily, though. Indeed, he had still been in the process of searching for her when he sensed Mohawk's approach (_via seismic vibrations traveling through the water_).

So, thinking to grab himself a quick snack, he had halted his search to lay quietly in wait. Fortunately, for the alpha gremlin, however, the initial taste of his flesh did not agree with the Gill Man! Consequently, the latter flung the former much farther out into the pond than Mohawk's original dive would have carried him.

It was at this particular instant that Dracula and his minions came on the scene.

"Gill Man!" intoned the Lord of Vampires: "Come forth. We have need of your ferocity. Bleh! Bleh!"

The Gill Man did as he was semi-telepathically bade. Fixing his gaze on the small army of Blob-possessed zombies that lumbered ahead of him. And, thus, failing to note the numerous bubbles that began to rise to the surface of the duck pond behind him.

* * * * *

Using his sensitivity to the Dark Side, Darth Vader strode unerringly through the halls of Sunnydale High. Right behind him, virtually trotting to keep up, were Jeannie (still mind-controlled by the Force); followed by Fenestra and Will Robinson. The latter, brandishing his laser pistol in order to act as rear guard.

Within ten minutes, they had reached the school library. Its doors slamming open with just a minor telekinetic use of the Force.

"This is it," declared the Sith Lord: "The Dark Side nexus is in this room."

Will looked at Fenestra, who nodded, before turning to Vader and clearing his throat. Which, in turn, made Vader look at him with (_relatively_) mild impatience.

"Yes, youngling?"

"Excuse me, sir. But, as both you and my friend here, aren't from Earth, I was wondering if I could have your permission to use this lap-top computer to consult some astronomy websites. To see if I might be able to spot your homeworlds in relation to Earth!"

Will pointed to the indicated device that was lying on a long wooden table near the center of the library before adding:

"If I can, then perhaps she and you could teleport home using the energy of this. . .Dark Side nexus."

Vader considered this proposal, as he had sensed no prevarication in the boy's statement.

"Are you sure you can operate this primitive piece of technology?"

Will nodded. So, Vader gestured with his gauntleted right hand to proceed. Whereupon, Will reholstered his laser, and unbuckled the belt it came with; handing both over to Fenestra. He then sat down and flipped open the computer's lid. Which he noticed, with some startlement, bore the initials "W.R.!"

Upon activating the computer, however, he swiftly noticed that it was password-encrypted. So, to get around this, he held out his left hand to Fenestra. The latter, sensing what he had in mind, clasped it with her own left hand. And, together, they concentrated.

One reverberating "_pop_" later, the words "_Access Granted_" came on the screen.

"I'm in! Now, to consult the Griffith Observatory website."

Five minutes later, he had a star map of the Milky Way Galaxy on the screen.

"OK! Here's where we are. My homeworld; Earth."

He pointed to the third of nine planets surrounding a yellow dwarf star marked "_Sol_."

"And, here's where my family was supposed to go, in our vessel; the Jupiter 2."

He pointed to the star marked "_Alpha Centauri_."

"Yet, it's on a planet somewhere over here that you encountered our troupe," replied Fenestra.

The psionic showgirl pointed to a constellation marked "_Reticulum_."

"And, this looks vaguely familiar," added Vader pointing to the Andromedan satellite galaxy marked M-110.

"Hmmmmmmmm!" mused Will: "Maybe this won't be as easy as I initially thought."

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL**

**(7:05 P.M./PST)**

Dracula sighed as he impatiently stood at the top of the long flight of stone steps.

"Look at them, Wolfie!" he exclaimed, pointing in frustration toward his slow-moving army of darkness: "Is it any wonder that I keep asking why zombies and mummies are as feared, by mortals, as we are? Bleh! Bleh! How can they possibly catch and kill _anything_ when the best they can do, in pursuit of a mortal, is a fast, limping shuffle?"

To which his lycanthropic lackey replied with a shoulder shrug and a rumbling noise that sounded vaguely like: "Rye ron't row!"

Suddenly, from out of the darkness, at the bottom of the hill, came a veritable chorus of hysterical laughter. Followed immediately by Mohawk the alpha gremlin and his new band of minions!

"Oh, for badness' sakes!" screamed Dracula, as he watched the reptilian terrors tear into the Blob-possessed zombies: "What else can go wrong, tonight?"

Someone must have heard him. For, within five minutes, all of the gremlins had quieted down!

"Well, well, well!" muttered the Lord of Vampires: "It seems that, for once, their eyes were bigger than their bellies, Wolfie. The protoplasm they ingested has evidently put them under the same geas as the Blob, itself. Marvelous! Wouldn't you agree, gentlemen?"

The Mummy, the Frankenstein Monster, and the Gill Man (_who had finally made their way to the top of the steps_) nodded in unison.

"Excellent! Then, let's continue on our way. Bleh! Bleh!"

Whereupon, he led the others toward the front entrance of the school.

The three surviving Yautja slowly regained consciousness. Upon regaining their feet, they took a slow look around them. . .and regretted doing so, almost immediately.

"You gentlemen aren't from around here, are you?" quipped Dracula: "Not to worry. You can join our little tour group. Bleh! Bleh!"

Whereupon, the trio of extra-terrestrial hunters suddenly found themselves fighting for their lives against a swarm of semi-zombified gremlins.

"So, you're actually a two thousand year-old genie," said Will Robinson (trying to make sense of what the pony-tailed blonde had just told him: "Of THE ARABIAN NIGHTS variety. And, you can magically grant almost any wish for whomever your master is, at the time. Did I get that, correctly?"

"Oh, yes!" Jeannie nodded, exultantly: "And, once we determine how far it is from Earth, I will blink myself and my new master, Lord Vader, back to his homeworld of Coruscant."

"Are you even capable of interstellar teleportation?" asked Fenestra: "I mean; from the looks of it, on this star map, this Galaxy M-110 is very far, far away."

"Well, I look at this way," replied Jeannie: "One never knows until one tries."

"Wrong!" barked the Sith Lord: "You either can or you can't. But, there is no '_try_.' Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-Y-Yes, Master," the genie nervously nodded.

Immediately sensing her nervousness, Vader used the Force to calm her down. So that she could better focus her power when the time came.

"With the energies of this nexus added to your own, there is no doubt in my mind that we will make a triumphal return to the Emperor's palace. Wouldn't you agree, my new apprentice?"

"Oh, definitely, Master!" Jeannie replied (her face practically beaming with restored confidence).

"Speaking of which," the Sith Lord continued: "I do believe the greatest concentration of Dark Side energy is right. . .about. . .here! !"

Vader now occupied the exact center of the library's octagonal study area. His sense of thrill, however, was short-lived. As Fenestra suddenly doubled over, both hands clutching at the sides of her forehead.

"Fenestra!" Will exclaimed: "What's wrong?"

"Danger, Will Robinson. Grave. . .danger! They're. . .coming. Their thoughts. . .almost too much. . .to bear."

"Who's coming?" Will persisted: "The creatures we eluded earlier?"

"Yes," Vader answered for her: "And, their leader has his own plans for this nexus. Which, of course, I cannot permit."

He emphasized this latter point by igniting his lightsaber.

** tbc**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7.  
**

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL,  
OCTOBER 31, 1997  
(7:06 P.M./PST)  
**  
"Wait!" Will Robinson shouted: "With all due respect, Your Lordship, you're making a mistake."

Darth Vader looked at the young science prodigy. The unblinking facial expression of his respirator mask doubling the nervousness Will was already feeling from the Sith Lord's frigid silence.

"What did you just say?"

Will instinctively gulped before replying.

"If this Dark Side nexus is as powerful as you claim, any fight that breaks out in here could trigger an explosion of it. One probably more devastating than the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs, put together!"

Vader paused to consider this statement. A moment later, he said: "I know not these bombs you speak of. But, I can sense through the Force that you are being sincere with me. What do you suggest as an alternative?"

"How about letting your. . .new apprentice blink up a suitable barricade for the library doors? One strong enough to hold back your would-be rivals long enough for the four of _us_ to teleport out of here."

The Sith Lord looked at Jeannie: "Can you do that?"

The beauteous blonde nodded her head with such eager speed, it looked like she was in danger of breaking her neck!

"Oh, yes, Master! Just watch."

One blink later, the library side of the twin doors were decorated, floor to ceiling, with solid oak planks. Each end of each one secured to the flanking walls with cast iron nails.

"Uhm! Not bad," opined Will (a little dubiously): "But, how about a secondary layer? Composed of something a little stronger, to reinforce the first one?"

"You mean, like this?"

BOINK!

There was now a wall made of wrought-iron bars (similar to one of those in a nineteenth-century jail cell) bolted to all four corners of the twin doors.

Jeannie looked at Will: "How is that?"

"Better," the boy replied: "But, I was thinking more along the lines of this. Fenestra; if you'd please. . .?"

The psionic showgirl nodded and grasped both his hands in hers. One reverberating "pop" later, a big square plate of stainless steel (like that of a bank vault or battleship) had completely eclipsed the previous two layers!

"Excellent," conceded Vader, deactivating his lightsaber: "You may resume your computations."

"Yes, Your Lordship," replied Will (with a conciliatory nod), before sitting back down before the lap-top.

* * * * *

It took an extra ten minutes for Dracula and his small army to reach the twin doors of the library. Mostly, because the semi-zombified Gremlins had temporarily broken free of their mind-control. . . while passing through the school cafeteria.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" they yelled as one, before breaking ranks and running into the kitchen.

Five minutes later, they were all hibernating in cocoons that looked more like dinosaur eggs.

"Serves them right," declared Dracula: "Come, the rest of you. On to the library! Bleh! Bleh!"

When they finally reached their destination, the vampiric count personally tore the twin doors off their hinges. And, when he saw the oaken boards on the other side, he immediately laughed.

"Frankie; Wolfie; Kharis; Gill Man. Go to it, boys! Have some fun. Bleh! Bleh!"

His four chief minions obeyed without hesitation. Yet, when they got past the boards to the cage bars, Dracula became flustered. And they could easily see why. Because, even if they bent the bars wide enough for each of them to side-step through, there was still the wall of steel behind it!

"Forget it!" Dracula finally exclaimed: "Bend the bars, anyway. The rest of you? Help them batter down that big metal plate. Bleh! Bleh!"

By twenty past seven, the small army of monsters had done nothing but give Dracula a ringing in his ears from all their otherwise fruitless pounding.

"Stop! All of you; stop! It is now obvious that it will take a blowtorch hotter than the morning sun to melt through that thing. I only wish I knew where to find such a device? Bleh! Bleh!"

"Your wishhhhhhhhhhhhhh is my command."

Dracula spun about, baring his fangs.

"Who are you?" he demanded of the reptilian-looking creature standing behind him: "What do you want?"

The latter grinned: "To answer your sssssecond question, firsssst; I am fulfilling your wishhhhhhh."

Whereupon, the mysterious new arrival threw the hilt of a lightsaber in Dracula's direction. With the latter deftly catching in his right hand!

"Assssssss to your firsssssst question?" the new arrival continued: "You may call me. . .the Wishhhhhhhhhhh Master."

** tbc**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

**By Carycomic**

_Yes, it's true. This chapter is one big, light-hearted allusion to Christopher Lee...who will be turning 91 NEXT MONTH!_

* * * * *

Dracula looked at the Wishmaster. Then, he looked at the strange gift.

"You expect me to cut through that metal plate with a broken-off umbrella handle? I wish you'd tell me how! Bleh! Bleh!"

The Wish Master grinned: "Ssssssssssssso be it."

The next thing he knew, Dracula's mind was being flooded with all kinds of strange images. Images of a man who greatly resembled himself, posing as "D.D. Denham," back in 1972. Only more elderly and sporting a goatee!

"Wasssssssss that sssssufficient?" the Wish Master asked. And, Dracula nodded. . .with a most feral grin of his own.

* * * * *

Darth Vader, of course, was the first to recognize the sound of a lightsaber being activated. Followed by the tell-tale hiss of its energy blade slicing through solid metal.

"Youngling!" he called out to Will Robinson: "Are you done with your computations, yet?"

"Yes!" the latter exclaimed: "All I have to do now. . ."

"Don't talk!" the Sith Lord interrupted: "Just implement."

Will nodded and quickly had Fenestra and Jeannie join hands with him. The plan (_on paper, anyway_) was quite simple. Will would mentally visualize a satellite television dish; Fenestra would telepathically relay that image into Jeannie's mind; and Jeannie would blink it into existence on the roof directly over the high school library! Once that had been accomplished, Will would telemetrically link it to the lap-top. After which, he would aim it at the various celestial co-ordinates he and the others wished to teleport back to, in the form of tachyonic particles

In other words; roughly similar to how he had once been temporarily teleported back to Earth by the Taurons' matter-transfer device on Priplannus!

There was a vast difference, however, between plans on paper and their fruition in reality. In this instance, it was the fact that the telemetry linkage would require him going up to the roof for the first half of the procedure. And, Jeannie was too uncertain about the side-effects of her magically blinking a human body, while still standing atop this "_Dark Side nexus_," to risk doing that to Will. So, he would also be required to find the nearest staircase with roof top access.

That, in turn, would entail his running the gauntlet of monsters still trying to get into the library. And, for that, he would have to rely on Darth Vader to clear the way. Something that might now be more difficult than initially anticipated judging by the apprehension that had been in the Sith Lord's voice when he had shouted, moments earlier).

That apprehension became even more pronounced two minutes later, when that strange beam of red light finished cutting three-fourths of a square in the stainless steel wall. Because, the man who stepped through the resulting gap, first, was evidently well-known to Vader.

"Count Dooku?"

* * * * *

Darth Vader had his lightsaber out, activated, and in the ready-to-strike position (over his right shoulder) before his three companions knew what was happening. Because, all they saw before them was a clean-shaven man with salt-and-pepper hair, bulging eyes, and a Victorian-era tuxedo enhanced by a black cape with red lining.

"What Kaminoan trickery is this?" the Sith Lord demanded.

"I am no clone, Lord Vader. Not quite, anyway! My consciousness was simply plucked forward through time, from the moment of my original body's death, and placed in this one. That of an Anzat-like being made to resemble my younger self, using long-forgotten magicks of the True Sith. . .and rendered well nigh-indestructible by same."

"Heh!" Vader scoffed: "Let us test that theory."

Again, before anyone else could register what they were seeing, Vader's left arm extended outward, his gauntlet palm up. Using the Force to telekinetically fling the erstwhile Darth Tyrannus halfway down the hall! Nor did he fail to follow up this initial advantage. Leaping forward through the opening in the steel wall, and using the Force to keep him moving forward, until he was almost literally on top of Dooku-Dracula.

The latter (still flat on his back) narrowly evaded the downward strike that would have cleaved him in two, from skull to chest. He then cart-wheeled to his left, to avoid a horizontal slash, before spinning about and trying to thrust his own lightsaber through Vader's armored-covered heart. This was not the same Anakin Skywalker who had lost his right hand on Geonosis, however! A fact that Dooku-Dracula saw for himself, when his thrust was parried by a diagonally-upward swing of Vader's lightsaber.

"Bravo!" exulted the possessed vampire: "I finally have a worthy adversary, indeed."

Meanwhile, back in the school library, the rest of Dracula's minions were preparing to swarm within. Prompting Will to draw his laser pistol.

"I wish there were some way to reduce our opposition without bloodshed," he muttered.

Jeannie suddenly smiled and exclaimed: "That is a wonderful idea!"

Whereupon, she crossed her arms and blinked. The next thing Will and Fenestra knew, the hallway outside the gap was empty. Wondering what had happened, they ran up to the opening and saw the most amazing thing they had yet witnessed that whole night.

The monsters that had been threatening to over-run them were now the size of mice!

"How very innovative," remarked a new voice.

Will and Fenestra spun about. . .and saw the Wish Master standing between them and Jeannie.

"OK!" said Will: "I give up. Which old movie-monster are you supposed to be?"

"You mean, my current appearance?" replied the new arrival: "Just an illusory form I chose, in honor of the local holiday."

There was a brief shimmer of light around the Wish Master. When it faded away, an entirely different being was standing in his place. A Homo sapiens-like humanoid with curly, grayish hair; a vaguely British accent; and a long white robe enhanced by a golden medallion dangling from the collar.

"Allow me to introduce myself," he began: "My name. . .is Iblis."

**tbc**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9.**

_And this chapter is dedicated to Patrick Macnee, who turned 91 TWO MONTHS AGO! God bless them, both._

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL,**

**OCT. 31, 1997 (7:15 P.M./PST)**

"No!" exclaimed Fenestra: "He lying! That's not his true form, either. He's really. . .really an El. . .Elder Being! From Galaxy M-110. . .as well"

As she struggled to get all this information out, Fenestra slowly fell to her knees. Prompting Will to aim the laser pistol right between Iblis' eyes.

"Is she telling the truth?"

"Well, yes and no," replied the new arrival, with a facetiously non-committal hand wave: "I'm not from there, personally. But, the ancestors of some old '_acquaintances_' of mine did evolve there! On a little dust speck called Kobol. Though, I doubt you've heard of it."

"And, is this your punishment for her discovering the truth?" Will demanded, tilting his head in Fenestra's direction.

"Oh, that's none of my doing. Her telepathy's simply been amplified by the energies peculiar to this. . .enchanting little spot. Were she evolved enough to adjust the power level, as easily as your people breathe, she'd be able to do other feats. Like this!"

Before Will could tighten his grip on it, the laser pistol flew out of his right hand and over into Iblis' left! Whereupon, he held it in a vertical position (sort of a reversed capital "l"), and stared at it, intently. One or two seconds, later?"

The laser pistol became a rusted relic that crumbled into dust with just the slightest increase in pressure from Iblis' grip.

"See that?" he rhetorically asked (with a deceptively beatific smile): "Outside these environs, the gentlest I could have been with that sidearm is to make it explode in your hand, pyrokinetically. But, here in Sunnydale? Why even this blonde waif you call 'Jeannie' could live like a literal goddess. If only she'd use her heightened powers more aggressively, that is."

Jeannie looked up at him, in horrified shock.

"Me? An evil goddess? Oh, no! No, I couldn't. I could _never_ use my powers for evil. No matter how much stronger this place made them!"

Iblis' frown looked genuinely sorrowful: "Sadly enough? I believe you. I, however, am not that altruistic."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

As Will fired back with that demand, he helped Fenestra to her feet. Cautiously semi-circling around Iblis, so he could seat her on a nearby chair. As he did so, he fleetingly noticed that she seemed to have become the same height as him!

But, that thought was quickly erased by the Elder Being's vociferous reply.

"Those old acquaintances I mentioned earlier? Well, I'm personally responsible for turning their descendants into refugees! And, seventeen of your years ago, their spacecraft finally reached this star system. Where they ultimately set up housekeeping, on the dark side of Earth's Moon, with the help of this Earth-nation's government."

"Had I not been otherwise engaged, at the time, I would never have permitted that."

Fenestra looked from the massage she had been giving her forehead. . .and grinned, defiantly.

"What he means is, he was running from enemies just as powerful as him. And, it's only recently that he eluded them!"

Iblis glared at her: "Be careful, my dear. Don't look _too_ deeply into the abyss of my mind. Lest what you see drive you out of yours!"

Meanwhile, Darth Vader and Dooku-Dracula continued their whirlwind duel down the hall. The former still using the two-handed Jedi style of fencing. While the latter still used a single-handed grip that made him resemble something out of a "Three Musketeers" swashbuckler!

For what must have been the ninth time, in as many minutes, the blades of their lightsabers crossed and entangled.

"I don't care if it costs me my own life," declared Vader: "You will not use the energy of this Dark Side nexus to return to Coruscant!"

"Why are you so eager to die for Palpatine?" retorted the possessed vampire: "He lied to you, Vader! You did not kill your beloved wife. She died from the stress of a dual birth!"

"What?"

The cyborg Sith Lord was so startled by this pronouncement that Dooku-Dracula was able to use his free left hand to Force-push Vader into the right-hand wall. . .and telekinetically pin him there.

"Liar!" Vader somehow managed to exhale in accusation.

But, Dooku-Dracula shook his head.

"One sees many things in the After World, Vader. You were blessed with fraternal twins! A boy and a girl. And, when I return to Coruscant, I'm going to look up the girl. Because, she's very Force-sensitive, you see. And, when I combine that with the abilities that come with being a creature similar to my current host body? Well, let's just say that I'll have the perfect queen consort to rule eternally by my side. . .when I usurp Palpatine's Empire."

**tbc**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10.**

**WILLIAM ROGERS USAF BASE,  
GLEN LARSON, SCOTLAND**

**(JULY 26, 1981)**

The grayish-colored shuttle came to a graceful landing within the hangar. Along with its two-fighter escort. Whereupon, the American major general called everyone to attention. A minute later, the shuttle's doors opened.

The stately old gentleman who emerged from within it wore a dark blue cloak with matching unitard. He was flanked by two younger men who bore formidable-looking sidearms. And, whose uniforms were identical to the pilots who emerged from the almost oval-shaped fighters.

The major general spoke first.

"Commander Adama, I presume?"

The stately old gentleman nodded.

"I am General James Henderson, United States Air Force. On my left? My adjutant: Colonel Straker. On my right? Sir Gerald McAndrew: Member of Parliament representing our host country, Scotland of the United Kingdom of Great Britain, in general. And, this district of Scotland in particular."

Commander Adama bowed, twice more, before replying.

"Greetings, gentlemen. And, on behalf of the Quorum of Twelve, I thank you for arranging this historic moment with such relative promptness."

Watching this first contact situation via closed-circuit television, Hank Summers of the DRI turned to the pair of scientists next to him.

"Aren't you guys interested in this?"

Dr. Mortinson, from the Pacific Technological Institute in Los Angeles, smiled and shook his head.

"I'm the one who _introduced_ Troy and Dillon to them. Remember?"

Dr. Douglas Jackson (nee Vladek Jankowski) was a bit more dour-looking as he added his metaphorical two cents.

"I am fully aware how much we owe the Galacticans for their aid against that flotilla of flying saucers. Right now, though, I am more concerned with solving the mystery of how these blue-skinned beings can replicate us, so easily. Taking over their abductees through psionic transference is one thing. Your friends in the Legacy have proven the efficacy of that. But, an entire undersea base staffed with clones of us? That would require samples of genetic material from each person at S.H.A.D.O.! And, how on Earth could they possibly get hold of those?"

Hank shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe the answer to that question would also explain how this renegade Galactican, Xavier, bears such an uncanny resemblance to Prince Voytek of Clan Tzimice."

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL,  
OCT. 31, 1997 (7:17 P.M./PST)  
**  
Fenestra was not deterred by the implied threat.

"He plans to use the anomalous energy of this nexus to blow up the power plant of the refugees' Moonbase. The discharge from which will act like thrusters on a spaceship. Propelling your Moon out of its orbit and deep into space!"

"What?" exclaimed Will, not believing what he had just heard.

"He knows what that will do to Earth," she continued: "But, he doesn't care! Not if it also destroys those he calls _'the Tomorrow People_.' Earth youngsters, like yourself. But, ones whose psionic potentials have been recently activated. Unaided, and centuries early. Because, he fears them! He fears their descendants s-s-supplanting. . .him!"

Fenestra pressed her hands to her pain-wracked forehead, all the harder, now. While Iblis' face was positively beet-red, he was now so flustered.

"And, you wouldn't? What about this young whelp? Do you relish the prospect of _him_ supplanting _you_ as the star of Marvello's troupe? Assuming, of course, you can sign him up at all. Oh, yes, he needs you as a conductress right now! Yet, what about a few yahrens from now? How long till he outgrows his need for you?"

Will and Fenestra looked at each other, as if the Elder Being had gone mad.

"What if I made it so he could _never_ leave you?" Iblis persisted: "What if you could keep him in the palm of your hand, forever?"

"You're crazy!" Will declared.

"Am I?" retorted Iblis.

Whereupon, he pointed at Will with his right index finger. Causing the latter to disappear with a reverberating "pop!" Fenestra sprang to her feet, her gasp echoed by Jeannie in perfect unison.

"What have you done to Will Robinson?!" the former cried.

Iblis' grin could only be described as diabolical.

"Exactly what I said I'd do. Look at the palm of your right hand."

Fenestra did as instructed, out of pure reflex. And, she gasped once more as Will rematerialized.

Albeit, at only three inches tall!

* * * * *

Darth Vader momentarily paused before replying to Dooku-Dracula's boast.

"If what you say is true, you must know I will not permit that. I owe that to Padme's memory."

The possessed vampire laughed with shameless arrogance: "And, just how do you plan to stop me?"

Vader did not reply, verbally. Instead, he closed his eyes and concentrated on what he had glimpsed on the opposite wall, just behind his opponent's back.

Namely a water fountain.

He concentrated on its liquid contents slowly building up pressure. Trying and trying to geyser upward and outward. But, to no avail. Causing even more pressure to build up. And, Dracula-Dooku was completely unaware of this! Or, rather, he remained so. . .up until the entire fountain began to rattle.

"What in the name of the F. . .?" the latter started to ask, half-aloud.

BOOM!

As the possessed vampire turned around, the fountain virtually rocketed away from the wall. Slamming into Dooku-Dracula's stomach so fast, even the Force could not help him to evade it! Conversely, of course, his concentration broke enough that Vader was able to dodge to his right. Letting Dooku-Dracula now occupy the spot where he had been pinned, seconds earlier.

"Now, we end this," declared the cyborg Sith Lord.

Whereupon, he used the Force to retrieve his fallen lightsaber and reactivate it. He then raised it over his right shoulder. Fully intending to decapitate his foe while the latter was still disoriented. Before he could follow through, however, a new voice shouted for him to:

"STOP!"

Vader looked up.

"Who dares. . .?!"

He saw three teenage boys before him. One with black hair, flanked by a tall one with red hair, and a short one with brown hair.

"My name is Adam Newman," said the black-haired boy: "These are my friends, Kevin and Megabyte. And, together. . .we're the Tomorrow People."

** tbc**

**S.H.A.D.O.** (Supreme Headquarters, Alien Defense Organization): a fictional Anglo-American task force founded to protect the Earth-week after week-from invasion by blue-skinned aliens, in beehive-shaped flying saucers, on "UFO." One of the few non-puppet shows done for television by Gerry and Sylvia Anderson, it ran in syndication for one season circa 1970 (though set ten years in the then-future).

**Tomorrow People:** I understand there was a previous BBC series by that title that was sort of a cross between DOCTOR WHO, STAR TREK: TOS, and THE X-MEN. American translation? Like the Nickelodeon-syndicated remake (1992-95) that I'm more familiar with, it was about various teenagers gaining psychic super-powers as part of the next step in Earthling evolution. And, using said powers to protect the world from various evil-doers.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11.**

**SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL**

**OCT. 31, 1997 (7:20 P.M./PST)**

Darth Vader was unhesitant in his reply.

"The Tomorrow People? Never heard of you! Are you some Jedi splinter faction like the Matukai and the Zeison Sha?"

Adam shook his head: "No. We represent the next step in human evolution on this planet. We do not hail from the Old Republic... anymore than you do."

"What?!"

Adam took a deep breath before clarifying.

"You are neither Darth Vader nor Anakin Skywalker. Just as your downed opponent is neither Count Dooku nor Count Dracula."

"_Actually_," said Megabyte, telepathically to Kevin Wilson: "_He looks a lot like our old sparring partner, Sam Reese_."

"_Quiet!_" Kevin telepathed back: "_Don't distract him_."

Vader could not help looking quizzically at this trio of newcomers.

"Are you mad, youngling?"

Adam shook his head: "And, with all due respect, I repeat; you are _not_ Darth Vader! Your real name is Lawrence Wellington Blaisdell. Though, only your middle name is your birth-name. Your biological parents are refugees from Galaxy NGC-891. Better known to them as the 'Twelve Lost Colonies of Kobol.' And, you were born while en route to this planet!"

"Unfortunately, you and several other youngsters were orphaned by a Cylon ambush at what is now called the Battle of Barnard's Star. As a result, during the first year of the Galacticans' arrival on Earth, the Quorum of Twelve, aided by S.H.A.D.O., arranged for the adoption of those orphans by carefully selected couples in the U.S. Air Force Reserve. Jim and Agnes Blaisdell, among them."

Vader's only response after a tense moment of silence was to slowly shake his head.

"You _are_ mad!"

Fenestra was naturally nonplussed by the sight of a shrunken Will Robinson in the palm of her right hand. Even so, she quickly regathered herself and sent a telepathic message to her right.

"_Jeannie! Help us, please!_"

The lovely blonde djinn did not hesitate in the slightest. One "boink" later, Will was once again normal size. His left hand firmly grasping Fenestra's right. This, in turn, led to the Elder Being called Iblis being encased...

...in a block of ice!

"Yes!" Will exulted: "Now, quick, Jeannie. Blink him to the North or South Pole before the ice starts to..."

Before he could even utter the first syllable of the word "melt," however, a spider web of cracks began to appear on the block of ice. Spreading up and down it with incredible rapidity. Seconds later, that ice exploded into thousands of chips,

With but the merest shrug of his shoulders, Iblis had freed himself!

"You insignificant brat! Now, I'll do what I should have done from the beginning."

Whereupon, both his hands clenched themselves into fists, followed by a bluish-white glow enveloping them... and electrical-sounding crackles emanating from them.

"You know better than that, Lord Iblis."

The new voice was decidedly female. And, it came from Jeannie's right. More accurately; it came from one of three girls to Jeannie's right. A petite redhead holding the hands of two slightly taller black girls!

"Hello, everybody," said the former: "I'm Jade. These are my friends, Lisa and Ami. And, we're Tomorrow People."

**tbc**

**shortest mini-glossary, yet.  
**_  
__**Sam Reese:**__ 20th-century alias used by the evil Egyptian Immortal Ramses. Portrayed on THE TOMORROW PEOPLE (as you might have already guessed) by Christopher Lee._

_**Wellington:**__ one of the orphan "Super Scouts" from Glen Larson's GALACTICA 1980._


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

**SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC**

**NOV. 1, 1997 (5:00 A.M./UTC-10)**

The six teenagers looked around them.

"Oy!" exclaimed Kevin. "How did we get here?"

"Beats me!" replied Megabyte. "One moment, I'm texting _'Happy Halloween'_ to my old buddies, back in the States. The next moment, I'm here on the ship with you guys!"

"I think it's a safe bet that none of us consciously teleported ourselves here," mused Adam. "So, the question is. . ."

"I did," interjected an authoritative baritone voice from behind them.

The Tomorrow People turned as one, and beheld a regal figure with silver hair dressed in what looked like a white robe such as a clergymen or a church choirmaster might wear.

"Who are you?" demanded Adam. "And, how did you get aboard the Ship?"

"I was invited aboard, by the Ship's master computer. My name is Adama. And, up until ten yahrens ago, I was commander-in-chief of the Galactican fleet."

Lisa (an African-American girl) did some mind-reading. . .and she gasped.

"He's from outer space, too! In fact, his people have been living on the dark side of the Moon since 1981. B-But, he. . .h-he's. . ."

"I, myself, am dead," Adama concluded for her. "Or, rather, my consciousness evolved past the need for a corporeal shell, back in your Earth year of 1987. Since then, I have joined an assemblage of similarly evolved beings aboard what my people call _'the Ship of Lights_.' And, those beings desperately need your help. For an old enemy of theirs seeks to destroy both my people and yours. . .by removing the Moon from Earth's orbit!"

The Tomorrow People were naturally astounded by such news.

"B-But, that. . .that's impossible!" stammered Jade, looking at Adam and Megabyte. "Isn't it?"

"Ordinarily, I'd say 'yes,' " declared Adama, before either of the latter could reply. "Even for someone who has had millennia to develop the same degree of power as your own descendants will have! There is, however, a nexus of negative preternatural energies on this planet. One that he could all too easily tap into and use to make such an orbital dislodgement possible. The assemblage I now belong to is forbidden from interfering, directly. It therefore falls to you Tomorrow People to prevent this calamity."

Ami (the Black English girl) shook her head and muttered. "So, what else is new?"

**SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA**

**(20 MINUTES LATER)**

The three girls, hands still joined, glared at the rogue Elder Being.

"You know the rules," said Ami. "You can only kill those who've voluntarily given themselves over to you! And, these three definitely don't count as such."

She pointed to Will, Fenestra, and Jeannie.

"And, that goes double for us!" added Lisa.

Iblis gritted his teeth in exasperation. "We shall see about that."

He now proceeded to redirect the aim of his lightning balls at them. Before he could do so, however, all three girls intensified their stares. With Lisa suddenly thrusting her right arm, and Ami her left arm, straight outwards. With the palms of their respective hands in a vertical position. . .as if they were trying to push something.

And, in effect, that was precisely what they did. As Iblis was telekinetically pushed half way down the outer hall!

"Quick, Jeannie!" telepathed Fenestra. "Un-shrink those monsters who were following Dracula, earlier."

The blonde djinn did as instructed, crossing her arms and blinking her eyes. A second later, Iblis found himself being dog-piled by Wolfman, Gill Man, the Mummy and the Frankenstein Monster. Followed by a small army of zomibes covered in pink slime!

All the time that Adam had been trying to make "Darth Vader" see reason, Dooku-Dracula had been virtually pinned to the wall. Paralyzed, as it were, by the purity of the water spewing forth from the pipes behind the torn-off drinking fountain. Yet, even though he could not move, he could still think. And, if he could think, he could telepath!

"Gremlins," he transmitted: "Gremlins! Come forth and aid your master."

Consequently, the egg-like cocoons in the cafeteria began to crack open. The beings that emerged from it, however, no longer resembled lizard-like monkeys with bat-like ears. Now, they looked like emerald-green hybrids of Komodo dragon and African mountain gorilla!

"Hurry, my faithful ones," urged the erstwhile Darth Tyrannus. "Hurry!"

"Coming, massssssssster," said the Alpha Gremlin.

Meanwhile, the female Tomorrow People had their own concerns. Ami telepathed to Megabyte that Iblis was now surrounded.

"I don't know how it'll last, though," she added. "How's Adam doing?"

"Well, he hasn't been dissected, yet, if that's what you mean. But, while Blaisdell is listening to him, the spell on that Vader costume is still a strong one. We may have to break it at the source!"

**ETHAN'S COSTUME SHOP**

**(7:25 P.M./PST)**

"Hello, Ripper," the proprietor smilingly muttered. "What? No hug for your old mate?

"I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you," replied Giles. "This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne! It's sick, it's brutal, and it harms the innocent."

"Oh, and we all know you're the protector of all things pure and innocent. Don't we, old man? That's quite a little act you've got going on here."

"It's no act. It's who I am."

"Who you are?" echoed Ethan (with ironically genuine shock). "The Watcher? Sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not! I know you who you really are, Rupert. And, I know what you're capable of."

Giles took off his glasses and slowly began polishing them.

"Break the spell, Ethan. Then, leave here and never come back."

"If I do, what's in it for me?"

"You get to live."

"Oh, Ripper!" chortled Ethan. "You're scaring me."

Giles' only response to that sarcastic remark. . .was a left-footed kick to Ethan's groin. Followed by a right hook to the latter's jaw!

Meanwhile, back at Sunnydale High School, two things went horribly awry. Just outside the library, Iblis had finally managed to throw that monstrous dog pile off of him. His eyes now crackling and blazing with the same electricity as his clenched fists! While, simultaneously, the further-mutated gremlins were now advancing on Darth Vader and the male Tomorrow People. With the Alpha Gremlin looking at the former, and asthmatically hissing:

"Vader. . .kaka!"

**To be concluded.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13.**

Jeannie, Fenestra, Will Robinson, and the Tomorrow Girls looked out into the hall way at the Elder Being called Iblis. And, no longer did he resemble a handsome human being. In point of fact, his head now seemed to combine attributes of three different animals: a bat; a pig; and goat! And, even more frightening was the fact that his bio-electrical light show seemed to have turned everything around him into a photographic negative. What had previously been colored white (like Iblis' robe) was now black, and vice-versa

"Adam! It's me," telepathed Jade: "Whatever you're doing, you'd better speed it up. Iblis has revealed his true colors (so to speak). And, I don't think we have enough collective power to stop him. Even with this nexus were standing on!"

Adam nodded, before telepathing to Megabyte and Kevin.

"You heard her, mates. Link up and we'll move on three."

"OK, then," replied Megabyte: "One. . .!"

"Two. . .!" responded Kevin

"THREE!" they shouted in unison.

Whereupon, a wave of telekinetic energy flew outward. Sweeping up Dooku-Dracula, Darth Vader, and the much further-mutated Gremlins like leaves in a small whirlwind. And, with just as much seeming effortlessness. All the parties concerned flew straight down the hallway towards Iblis! The latter, however, sensed the turbulence and turned to face it. Sending out one of ball of lightning after another. . .and disintegrating most of the mutated Gremlins in the process.

Yet, Darth Vader was no mere Gremlin, and neither was Dooku-Dracula. The possessed vampire turned into a cloud of mist and simply let the barrage of lightning balls pass through him. Whereas Vader simply used his lightsaber to deflect his half of the barrage right back at the Elder Being just as easily as if they were laser blasts. And, each deflected lightning ball hit Iblis dead on target!

Unfortunately, the only thing they seemed to do is anger him all the more.

**ETHAN'S COSTUME SHOP**

**SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA**

**OCTOBER 31, 1997**

**(7:27 P.M./PST)**

Rupert Giles was beginning to develop a rhythm to his kicks. Delivering them to Ethan Rayne's stomach in perfect synchronization with each word in his one (and quite often-repeated) question of the night.

"Where. . .is. . .the source. . .of the spell? And how. . .do . . .you break it?"

Ethan Rayne (who, by this point, was curled up on the floor in a fetal position) finally acquiesced.

"Janus . . .bust," he gasped out: "Back. . .room."

**MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE SCHOOL LIBRARY. . .**

"Guys!" exclaimed Megabyte: "I just a got a call from Commander Adama aboard the Ship of Lights. He says he knows what was used to brainwash most of these people."

He sent the vitally needed mental images to the other two Tomorrow Boys, who nodded simultaneously. Adam then transmitted his thoughts to Jade, who relayed them to Jeannie.

"Can you make them regurgitate this?"

The bewitching blonde djinn nervously chewed on her left index finger.

"I shall try," she finally telepathed back (though with not much enthusiasm).

"Don't worry," replied Will: "Fenestra and I will wish for it along with you. We all will!"

A second later, Jeannie criss-crossed arms and blinked her eyes. Moments after that, the zombies that had seemingly been rendered lifeless by Iblis rose back on to their feet. At which point. . .,

. . .they collectively threw up the Blob!

The pinkish primordial ooze landed all over the angry Elder Being. And, try as he might, he just could not melt it off of him! The best comparison Will could make was a fire trying to persist in burning after being inundated with suppressive foam. In any event, while Iblis struggled to free himself of the semi-sentient slime, a veritable shaft of blinding white light suddenly materialized. Pinning Iblis in the center of it. . .before disappearing with both him and the Blob.

Meanwhile, back at the costume shop, Giles had found what he was looking for. He subsequently raised the bust of Janus over his head with both hands. And, then (with all the physical force he could muster), he threw it back down on the floor. Smashing it into dozens of irreparable pieces. . . which quickly became scores (perhaps even hundreds) of dust particles beneath the further stamping of his feet.

It started at Buffy Summer's house. Most of the attacking "monsters" (including pseudo-vampires that had not needed an invitation in order to enter the house) immediately reverted to the pre-adolescent children they really were. Furthermore, Buffy, herself, was no longer an eighteenth century damsel-in-distress. Just as Willow Rosenberg was able to re-enter her corporeal body where it had temporarily collapsed.

From there, the ripple spread outward until it reached the high school library.

"Whoa!" was the first uttered by Scott Hope: "Where am I? And what happened to my costume?"

"Never mind that!" exclaimed Percy West: "Where's my date?"

"HELP!" shouted Aphrodisia as she climbed out of the duck pond across the street: "Somebody, help me, please! Get me a towel . . .and a blow dryer. . .and a curling iron!"

**MOONBASE ALPHA**

"A guy as dangerous as this," declared Megabyte: "And, all you did was imprison him in a Glinda bubble?"

Adama could not help chuckling at the bemused way all the other Tomorrow People rolled their eyes at this comment.

"I assure you, this is made of a much stronger substance than mere soap and water. And, the people of the Ship of Lights will make certain both it and Iblis wind up someplace very secure. Not to mention, a long way away from Earth! Specifically; in a black dwarf star in the constellation you call. . .Fornax.* "

"What about those Yautja he was with?" asked Commander John Koenig.

The latter had originally been an officer in the U.S. Navy Seabees.* * That is, till he was recruited by S.H.A.D.O. (via SAC-NORAD and NATO) to help with the top-secret construction of Earth's first lunar colony, sixteen years earlier, as a next-door neighbor for New Kobol.

"Iblis disguised himself as one of them, so that he could travel among them," replied Adama: "In order to take advantage of the cloaking technology used by their vessels (which is difficult even for the Ship of Lights to penetrate)! But, now that the survivors have been handed over, so that they can properly service their dead comrades, this particular vessel will depart Earth's orbit without further incident."

"What about the people wearing those weird costumes?" asked Lisa: "Will they return to normal?"

Adama nodded: "And, more importantly? Neither they nor the personalities they assumed will remember any of the events they took part in as anything other than bad dreams. Both in this reality, and whatever parallel universe those personalities call home. Allowing events in those realities to resume their normal course."

Larry took off the black plastic mask and exhaled very loudly.

"Hey! What am I doing here at school? I'm supposed to be at the Bronze. . .

". . .with me," finished Harmony, as she removed the pink fez from her pony-tailed hair: "So, let's going already."

**A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY**

"Where am I?" demanded Darth Vader of the surgically masked individual above him.

"You're in the medical bay of the Emperor's flagship, Milord. And, His Excellency will be most pleased to know that you've regained consciousness. So, please excuse me while I notify him."

"What an odd dream," Vader muttered to himself, a second later.

**CAPE KENNEDY (30 YEARS EARLIER)**

"Oh, dear!" exclaimed Jeannie: "I must have fainted."

She sat up, looked at the metallic floor all around her, and frowned.

"That means I was merely dreaming of being free. And, I am still in the moon-safe!"

**SUN CINEMA, SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA**

"Hey!" complained Tucker Wells (from beneath his werewolf mask): "I thought you said they were going to be playing five different movies. But, according to this brochure, it's one _new_ movie that they're simply going to re-run, at least twice, right up until midnight!"

"Who cares?" replied Andrew: "This is great."

Up in the projection booth, Frederick Nicholas and Mr. Zackeroff were having a similar difference of opinion.

"I requested five different films!" declared the latter (in as audible a harsh whisper as possible): "And, instead, they send me. . .EVIL DEAD 4: LEAGUE OF MONSTERS? I never even heard of that flick! And, I catch all the pre-production gossip there is to get on the Internet."

"The customers don't seem to mind, Mr. Z!" replied the elderly projectionist: "Look!"

He was right. Everybody cheered as Ash Williams confronted Dracula, Wolf Man, Gill Man, the Mummy, and the Wishmaster just as the latter was about to read from the Necronomicon.

"Eat blessed silver, scumbags! ! !"

Whereupon, Ash exchanged his bionic right hand for a modified Vulcan mini-gun, while a morally reformed Frankenstein Monster held the ammo box.

Oz looked at the redhead standing next to him in confusion.

"Hi! Do I know you?"

"Yeah! I'm Amy Madison. I was supposed to meet you at the Bronze, later. You, Will Robinson? Me, Fenestra?"

"Oh, right! You wanted to hear my band perform at the Shelter Club, later tonight. In fact, I'm supposed to be there in thirty minutes! So, maybe the two of us should get going?"

**GAMMA RETICULI VI (SOMEWHERE IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE)**

"A ball!" exclaimed a disappointed Will: "A red, wooden ball."

"Well, it appears your gift is still erratic," replied Dr. Marvello: "But, with time and practice, it should get better."

"Time and practice?" echoed Will.

So, Dr. Marvello asked Fenestra to leave the two of them alone, for a private discussion. She nodded and walked away. As she did so, she reached underneath her mini-skirt. . .and pulled out what resembled a tiny robotic clown. Only one wearing a costume highly similar to the Earth fruit known as an apple!

"Fenestra! Please, make me big, again!"

"No, Will Robinson. With you at this size, I will never have to fear being supplanted as the star of this troupe. While your psionically powerless clone (which you so wisely materialized for me) will keep your family from noticing your absence and raising unnecessary alarm."

And, with that, Fenestra went straight to her cabin.

**ETHAN'S COSTUME SHOP**

"How are you doing, buddy?" asked Sahjahn.

"How do you think?" growled Ethan Rayne (his voice still a bit falsetto): "It feels like half my bloody ribs are bruised. And, I sound like I've been snorting bloody helium!"

"Well, if it's any consolation, not everything will go back to the way it was _before_ you cast the spell. As for you? Maybe you should lay low for the next couple years. Like, say, down in Brazil?* * * I doubt any of the Scooby Gang will be looking for you there!"

"Scooby Gang?!" echoed the chaos-worshipper: "What _are_ you prattling on about?"

"You'll see," replied the disembodied Granok demon: "All in due. . .time."

Whereupon, he shifted to his next rendezvous.

**THE END? **

*** Black dwarf star:** Most astrophysicists agree that it would take nearly the estimated age of the entire universe for a white dwarf star to transition to this currently hypothetical state. So, if such a stellar body does exist, it's most likely in the UDFj-39546284 region of Fornax ("The Furnace"). Currently, the record holder for most visible astronomical object furthest from Earth.

*** * Seabees:** phonetic spelling of the initials "CB" (Construction Battalions). First founded during World War II, they are the American naval equivalent of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

*** * *** See "Different City/Same Old Crap."


End file.
